Imaginary Show….

We are on stage right now…. Man, just imagine rocking out to the empty room and sweat pouring from our brows as we fluidly flow from one song to another using our charm and wit.

Don’t forget our free pitcher of beer which we have already devoured and are really feeling the aftereffects of. Oh and the shots of Jager we all did about an hour ago to make the time go by faster. Man, that last band sucked…or maybe I’m jealous.. yup… jealous! Plus my ears hurt. God, do we have to keep yelling just to talk to each other. My head hurts too!…. Shit, I missed 8 calls from my wife… I’ll be right back…

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— < Joel: Where's Paul? >

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I’m back..

, yeah she is ok… Just wondering what time I am going to be done. Soon I hope. I still need to get all my gear packed up and back to the rehearsal space so I don’t have to worry about it being in the car all night. Damn, what is the code to the building again??… Ok, ok… I will just take my gear up to my apartment and drop it off in the morn. Hmm, I wonder how many pairs of underwear we are going to sell tonight? God, I hope one… And I get to see the pretty lady who buys it. You know, We should make hats… Yeah hats. I like hats. What about scarves? Who the hell wears scarves in Vancouver? Scratch that idea.

Anyways, car crash ending, car crash ending, car crash ending, lumberjack, lumberjack, card dealer, card dealer… And out!… This is going to suck. Time to pack up the gear. At least I don’t need to wrap cables like I do at work all day long. Shit, I know the sound guy here. Might as well help him out with the cables and taking down the mics while we chat. Ok.. Now I do the small talk with the promoter.

“So how’d we do tonight?”

“We’ll, it was slow and we didn’t sell enough booze and not enough people at the door, blah, blah, blah”

“So your saying we made no money tonight?”

“You guys need to bring out more people and perhaps you’ll do better next time. I’ll call ya! Have a good night boys!”

Damn right have a good night… Damn right… Crawl my ass back to my car with my arms loaded with gear regretting the fact that I didn’t take up the flute as my parents had suggested. I am in my car now. Deep breath, and rest my head on the steering wheel for a sec. The night is done… Or is it..

Yup, pulled over for a random check. Why is it always me in the shitty Ford Tempo and not the Lamborghini that whizzed past me a minute ago. Maybe it’s because I have drum gear in the car. That means I am an alcoholic or drug addict. For Christ’s sake, Pop the trunk? Ok, ok.. Just keep the dog in your car. Everything checks out and I get the “Drive Safely” line. I wonder if this is metaphorical for my life? God I think to much. Just get home to a warm bed, so you can wake up in the morn and regale my co-workers about my crazy night.
Man, my head hurts.. Work is not going to be fun today. Come to think of it, work sucks everyday. Maybe it’s time for a change. Who really enjoys their job eh? Do I open that Mix Studio? Do I take those cooking classes I wanted? Do I spend all my money on lottery tickets? What to do these days?…. I’ll settle with making musicians happy and dealing with Karaoke folk for the time being… Could be worse eh?

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Real life:

The fire alarm went off in my building about and hour ago, and 5 police cars, two fire trucks and two ambulances shows up. I guy on the 4th floor was so high and out of his mind that he went around banging on peoples doors and then took some mirrors from the hallway and smashed them, cut himself, and smeared his blood all over the walls. Then he turned on the fire hose full blast and soaked the entire 4th floor. The police got him and pinned him down. They drugged him (kinda ironic), and took him away. Water is pouring down the elevator shaft and all the apartments below (including mine) are leaking. We are on the 2nd floor, and although mine is leaking in just a small corner, my neighbors are flooded. I think it will get worse though-out the night. We shall see. Interesting twist: Found out I have a hot neighbor living beside us. Always good to have a fire alarm to bring together the people on your floor. I suggest you pull one with a social intent.

Anyways, I am going to try to get some sleep over the sound of the Vacuum company in the hallway sucking up all the water all night. I foresee a lot of irritation in my future. Lol!

All the best boys and girls, talks soon!

End Rant…

Paulie.